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“I found I could say things with color
and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.”

Georgia O’Keefe

We gratefully live in colour. It is everywhere around us and we sometimes forget to recognize it as a powerful psychological tool for ourselves and our businesses. Its use, or misuse, can lead to positive or negative messages, influence people, encourage or discourage sales or it can have a calming or energizing effect on an audience. Yet, many entrepreneurs do not give it a second thought when choosing their business colours or the ones that they wear when meeting clients. They will pick a favourite colour for their logo instead of analysing their business attributes and choosing a colour that fits the psychology of their brand.

Linking one’s business to a colour has a lot more impact now that we all have a Web presence. Colours have different meanings to different cultures and if you are planning to bring your business to an international level or tapping into a multicultural niche, you should be very careful about the colours that you will use to promote your business. For example, in our Western culture, white is associated with purity and peace (peace dove, white flag, wedding dress) but in most Asian cultures white is the colour representing death. So a lot of thought has to be put into using white if you are going to promote your products to Asian cultures as it may not have the desired impact.

When you present yourself to potential clients, attend a networking event or give a presentation, the colour that you wear will also have an impact on the image that you are sending to your audience.

Here is a quick overview of some colours and their impact.

BLACK ■■■■■■■■■■■■

• Powerful, mysterious, classic and elegant.
• Associated with strength, authority, and stability.
• Colour of choice of formal events and influential people (black tie attire and tuxedos, graduation robes, lawyer and judge robes).
• Too much of it creates distance and detachment, or an occult and mysterious feeling (Goths, black magic, darkness).
• When worn, since it absorbs light rather than reflecting it, it has a thinning effect, thus the popularity of the little black dress.

WHITE □□□□□□□□□□□□

• Compression of all colours of the spectrum, it is a powerful hue to use.
• Commands respect because it is high maintenance (don’t touch or it will soil).
• Associated with purity and cleanliness (wedding and baptismal gowns, health care professionals’ overcoats, hygienic environments) and is bright and visible.
• Also associated with efficiency and clarity.
• When worn, white reflects light and therefore will highlight everything. You cannot hide behind white.

RED ■■■■■■■■■■■■

• Dynamic, provocative and aggressive. If you want to get noticed, use red.
• Warm colour associated with passion and life (love, red roses, fire, blood), with danger and urgency (stop signs, red traffic lights, red flags, fire trucks) and with energy, movement and excitement.
• Because of its extremely high level of vibrational energy, red can quickly become aggressive and confrontational if overused.
• Better used as an accent colour than as the base colour.
• Stimulates a person’s response and makes them more prone to act on impulse.
• When worn, red will give you energy but if worn over a long period of time, it can also drain you.

BLUE ■■■■■■■■■■■■

• Has a large spectrum of associations. It has a calming effect, while stimulating thought process (ideas coming “out of the blue”) but can also calm you to the point of feeling depressed (feeling “blue”) if overused.
• Favourite colour of the majority of people on the planet probably because much of our natural surroundings are blue – the sky, the ocean, even the glaciers.
• Cold hue associated with loyalty and credibility (blue uniforms – army, police – political groups, flags).
• When worn, the darker shades of blue convey success and power. It has a happy and grounded disposition. Certain hues can seem unfriendly, rigid and arrogant (royal blue).

YELLOW ■■■■■■■■■■■■

• Optimistic and creative and has a high impact.
• The most visible hue of the chromatic spectrum and as such, is often used to attract attention (ambulance, yield sign, school bus, yellow pages).
• Warm colour associated with the sun, happiness and leisure.
• Conveys innovation, well-being and creativity.
• Too bright, in too much quantity or paired with black, it can be perceived as aggressive (nuclear warning sign, hornet).
• Not many people can wear pure yellow in a flattering way. It is better to use its lighter or golden variations.

Every single other colour is derived from these three primary colours, and each hue will have its own impact on your professional image. Therefore, before choosing your brand colours, your professional outfits and accessories, ask yourself what impact you want to make, which type of clientele you are trying to attract, and what lasting impression you want people to have of you and your company. Most importantly, discover your brand attributes and pick the colours that will support your brand and marketing strategies in the most efficient way.

What are your colours saying about you?

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My last vacation involved air transportation. On the way back home, I sat beside a lady who proceeded to tell me all about her cruise adventures (including her squirms of nausea), her fear of flying, her weight gain and her upcoming three hour stopover in Montreal – before I had the chance to settle down in my seat. When I opened a magazine in an attempt to get some respite, she started reading over my shoulder and passing comments on the contents of my magazine. I then put on my earphones and started looking at the movie selection. It did not take 2 seconds before her finger was pressing the icons on my screen! So I had no choice but to fake sleep in order to get a little privacy.

This episode got me thinking about air travelling etiquette and how much more relaxing and pleasant travelling would be if only people would show a little more restraint and civility in the airport and on board the plane! So I put together a list of passenger types encountered over the years that could use a course in civility.

THE RUNNER
This passenger loves to arrive at the gate panting, sweaty and late. He is the one whose name is called over and over again on the loudspeaker because the plane is boarding and he hasn’t shown up yet.
Solution: Most airlines ask that you arrive anywhere between 1 and 2 hours prior to your flight. Having a lot of time before boarding allows you to have a hot cup of coffee, buy your magazines and check your emails before you board the plane… with a smile and without delaying departure.

THE WHINER
This passenger is impatient and wants everyone to know. He is particularly annoying when going through security and will push your security bin in an attempt to make you move faster. He will stand very close to you and make loud sighs if you are slow in taking off your shoes or regrouping your belongings.
Solution: Yes, going through security is a hassle and we have no choice, so getting irritated won’t change a thing. There are things in life that you cannot control. This is one of them and it’s therefore a perfect time to practice your Zen breathing!

THE ENTHUSIAST
This passenger can’t wait to get on board! You will spot him standing near the boarding desk 15 minutes before boarding time, just so he can be the first in line. This passenger does not care when they call rows 25 to 40 to board, he gets in line with seat 10B. He will then be asked to step aside, which he barely does, and will be obstructing the boarding flow.
Solution: You do realize that your seat is reserved for you, right? Get in line when you are asked to and it will be much quicker to get to your seat. Why be in a rush to sit in an enclosed metalic cylinder for several hours, anyway? OK, you want the overhead locker space, we get it.

THE CRUSHER
Speaking of overhead lockers, this passenger is determined to get his carry-on luggage in the overhead locker no matter what. He will push, crush, bang, or do whatever it takes to squeeze his bag into the space, without giving much care to the other passengers’ belongings.
Solution: Travel light! Overhead lockers are not expandable. Pushing and crushing won’t create more room. And honestly, do you really need all that stuff on board?

THE LOUNGER
The first thing this passenger does when the plane reaches its cruising altitude is to completely recline his seat, leaving just enough breathing space between the passenger in the back and his retractable table.
Solution: There is none because space is limited, to say the least, once you are seated. You may be tired, but please refrain from reclining your seat completely, especially during meals.

THE CHATTERBOX
This passenger will talk to you the moment you make eye contact and won’t stop unless you take extraordinary measures, like faking sleep (see introduction).
Solution: Watch a movie or read a book. The reality is that most passengers do not want to chat with you during the trip. Being friendly and polite is one thing, being invasive of another person’s “me” time is quite another story.

THE SPY
You will find this passenger gazing on your laptop screen, reading from your e-book reader or watching you play games on your tablet.
Solution: Buy your own!

THE REBEL
This passenger totally ignores instructions about shutting off his mobile phone or other electronic devices upon take-off and landing. What he may not know is that he is putting his life, and that of his fellow passengers in danger.
Solution: While there is still controversy regarding this, who wants to take a chance! Read the following Mobile phones and plane crashes and please comply!

THE SLOB
This passenger will leave the washroom so unclean that you hesitate before you walk in.
Solution: What can I say? Clean up after use – or is this an antiquated concept?

THE INVADER
This passenger takes over the armrests and will not budge!
Solution: Share. Armrests are not a first-arrived-first-served notion. If you are sitting in the middle of a three-seat row, you are entitled to one of the armrests!

THE IMPATIENT
This passenger is so eager to exit the plane, that he is ready to climb over you and hit you on the head with his carry-on to get in line in the aisle.
Solution: Relax. We are all impatient to exit the plane, stretch our legs and regain our personal space. Trying to force someone out of their seats before there is room to do so is just plain rude. Just a few more minutes confined to your seat isn’t the end of the world. Check your emails!

 

So why should you care about civility when you travel? First of all, it makes for a more pleasant experience for everyone involved, and second, you never know who is watching. I have unexpectedly met clients in airports and on board planes. You want to be at your best at all times.

Do you have a passenger type to add to the list?

Note: I encourage feedback but will never publish comments that arrive through spam.

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”
Tony Blair

A colleague recently shared with me her frustration about having declined her friend’s request to help organize a party… to no avail. Her friend kept on coming back assuming that she was involved, despite repeated polite attempts at passing up the offer. Was my colleague not clear the first time she declined or was her friend refusing to take “no” for an answer?

Not too many people are at ease refusing someone’s demands, so they end up saying “maybe”, or “I’m not sure”, lying about being busy, or worse, accepting despite a full schedule. This can be confusing and particularly unproductive in a working environment where not being able to say “no” can result in your to-do list overflowing in no time! This can also ultimately affect your professional image because you may be perceived as someone who does not know how to set boundaries.

On the flip side of the coin, folks on the asking end don’t make it easy for us either because they have a hard time accepting that “no” is just as a legitimate answer as the expected “yes”. They will make pretend they didn’t understand, make you feel guilty, glare at you, give you the cold shoulder, get emotional or worse, get angry if you refuse their request.

So what is it about saying “no” that is so difficult? Well, we are fundamentally nice people who do not want to hurt another person’s feelings by rejecting her request. We may have been brought up with the notion that it is rude to decline something offered to us or to refuse someone’s request for assistance. In a work environment, we don’t want to come across as uncooperative, nor do we want to create conflict and lose career opportunities. We may simply be people-pleasers. There are many reasons to avoid saying “no” but by doing so, we are not valuing our time or ourselves. Saying “no” is simply respecting our own time and energy and shaping our professional and private lives the way they were meant to be. This does not mean that from time to time there won’t be that extraordinary situation where we will have to agree to something we would prefer not to do, but those situations should be exceptional and not current practice.

Everyone can learn to refuse gracefully, but first let’s look at my 7 golden rules about saying “no”.

1. Start believing that saying “no” is acceptable.
2. Define your priorities so that you know when it is time to say “no”.
3. Be factual and always truthful when declining someone’s request.
4. Be assertive and polite when refusing.
5. Don’t change your mind under pressure. If the person insists, listen to her objections and then reiterate your refusal as many times as needed. Do not defend your reasons.
6. Smile and look the person in the eyes when expressing yourself.
7. Stop the guilt trip.

Below are some simple phrases that you may use, depending on the situation.

- “My schedule is full and I cannot commit to this right now. Maybe some other time.”

- “I am not the best person for this type of task and would prefer that you ask someone else. Thank you for thinking of me.”

- “This sounds like a nice (fun) experience, but it’s really not something I am interested in doing at the moment. Thanks anyway.”

- “I would love to help, but this does not fit my priorities at this moment. Sorry to turn you down.”

- “I appreciate you asking, but I need to decline. Have you thought of approaching …..?”

Remember that you don’t need to justify your answer. However, it may help the person understand if you offer some explanation as to why you are saying “no”.

The delicate art of saying “no” to requests that are not serving your higher purpose is something that requires practice. Once you realize how this approach is contributing to making your life simpler and richer, you will embrace this new form of appreciation of yourself, your work and your personal time. You will become a better contributor to what really matters to you and, as an added bonus, your image will be enhanced by reflecting someone who is assertive in a polite, confident way.

Note: I encourage feedback but will never publish comments that arrive through spam

One of my favourite topics when I teach Business Etiquette is handshakes and how they help you better communicate with the person in front of you. Participants are usually skeptical at first, but rapidly embrace this fun way of discovering the type of person they are dealing with. The handshake is a well accepted international gesture and an automatic ritual of greeting and departure, but if you pay a little attention, you will learn to “read” its subtle messages. The Protocol School of Washington, the leader in etiquette and protocol services, includes a course on handshakes in their renown training program and have published a book about the art of handshaking (see right side bar in Kathleen Recommends).

Did you know that there are 12 basic handshakes that you may experience during your interactions with people? Each of these will tell you a short story about how that person is feeling at that moment and will help you adjust your approach. A handshake may even be different at the beginning and at the end of a meeting, reflecting the outcome of that meeting. This being said, cultural diversities have to be taken into account when trying to assess a handshake, so you should always be careful before drawing conclusions. Let’s explore the five most common ones.

1. The Power Handshake
   This is the handshake of confident, relaxed, and genuine people. It includes a firm grip, parallel hands and one or two strokes. It is accompanied by a smile and eye contact and followed by the appropriate introductions. It will leave a great first impression.
2. The Water Pump
   Exaggerated in the number of strokes and extent of movement, this handshake often belongs to people wanting to show enthusiasm (in interviews, for example) or their excitement to be part of a group or an event. Pumping your way into the other person’s life is not going to be a lasting good feeling. Remember: everything in moderation!
3. The Magnet
   The person is trying to attract you into his space by pulling your hand towards him or guiding you in a direction. This person is probably trying to dominate you or wants to place you somewhere. A perfect example of this is the following video where Barack Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu shake hands. The tug of war is obvious, each wanting to place the other into his space! Priceless!

 

 

4. The Bone Crusher
   Your fingers will literally crack under this person’s powerful handshake, leaving you with a negative, and most likely painful, first impression! This handshake usually belongs to insecure people who confuse physical strength with personal power. There is nothing inviting nor positive about this handshake and chances are, you will come across as an overpowering person who is desperate for authority rather than a confident individual.
5. The Dead Fish
   Who likes to hold a limp hand? It screams indifference and passivity. Not only does it indicate low self-esteem, it is dismissive and draining for the person receiving it. This handshake shows apathy and will definitely generate a flight response from the person on the receiving end.

First impressions are crucial in every encounter and the handshake is the first and only physical contact you will have with your client. Make it memorable!

Note: I encourage feedback but will never publish comments that arrive through spam.

The best way to give your brand some credibility is telling people about it. But some folks are uncomfortable with self-promotion because they feel they are bragging.

So how can you impress someone without sounding boastful?

People will make a split second judgement about you when you get introduced or walk into a room. It is therefore important to position yourself quickly and efficiently in order to establish your credibility, role and intentions. You need to use self-promotion to reveal information about yourself, trigger interest and be remembered. Let’s look at 5 ways that this can be achieved.

1. Introduce a specialty. When you meet a person, you first share the basics: your name, your business, and what you do. Then begins the self-promotion. By introducing something that is unique to you, a specialty, or an unusual way of doing things, you will set the tone for an interesting discussion where you will most likely be asked to share more details. This will allow you to highlight your strengths without crowing.
2. Tell a story rather than give facts. Always keep a few of your accomplishments in mind. To relay those stories, use the problem-solving approach: outline the situation, identify how you resolved the problem and define the results. For example, instead of saying “I own…” – “I am…” – or “I do” – try telling the person about an experience you had. “I was faced with… I had to… and this resulted in…” – “I heard about… I decided to… and this turned out to be…”. Placing the emphasis on your challenges and the way you resolved them will allow you to emphasize your accomplishments without bragging.
3. Insert a dose of humility. Nobody is perfect and admitting to some errors will make you appear humble and trustworthy. You don’t have to beat yourself up, but using a little humour to express your slip-ups will only make you more human and therefore accessible.
4. Mention publications. If you have been interviewed/published in a magazine or newspaper or if you have a blog, invite people to find out more about you and your services by consulting these publications – “You may want to read about my speciality in…” – “If you want to find out more, why don’t you log on to my blog at…”.  It gives you credibility and is a compelling way for people to discover your true values.
5. Show your personal power.  People want to be around others that have self-esteem and confidence. By expressing what you do in a passionate and positive way, you will be promoting yourself as a self-assured, go-to person without being perceived as arrogant.

Judicious self-promotion is a critical part of establishing your brand, maintaining it and developing the required visibility and credibility for your business to soar. Just make sure to use it in good dosage in order to refrain from crossing the fine line between promoting yourself and bragging. 

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Make sure to check the right column of my blog for Kathleen Recommends to discover a book that will teach you more about first impressions.

Note: I encourage feedback but will never publish comments that arrive through spam.

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